KELSEY LU | Finding the Soul in the Note

Kelsey Lu is a vocalist and classically trained cellist whose ethereal sound, cinematic visuals, experimental style and poetic lyricism capture and enthral every sense. We spoke to her about her influences, her dreams, and her future.

Kelsey joins us at around 5pm New York City time, where Fashion Week is currently being held. She is open, dream-like and fascinating to listen to. Soft keys of jazz piano chime lazily in the background, and it’s easy to imagine her against the backdrop of a beautiful New York winter afternoon.

What has been a highlight of your career so far?

Hmm, yeah, I don’t really… that particular question, which comes up a lot in interviews, I don’t really believe in the “highlight”, you know, specifically. There have been so many moments in my life, that have come in various ways, to really specify one would be too difficult. But I think really just coming into the existence of myself is something that happens every day, and right now it’s ever-growing and ever-moving. So I guess I would speak on what’s happening immediately, in the present, and yesterday I walked - I’m in New York right now and it’s Fashion Week - with all of that comes so many other things that are… you know, the Fashion Industry, I love it. Also when it comes to race and gender and class it’s just there’s a lot of problems within all of it, so that can be dodgy, but it’s also a beautiful mode of expression. Yesterday - and you know,  I’ve always liked style, forever - I walked in my first show...

Congratulations! Which designer was it?

Thank you! It was Nosessola, they’re out of LA, I met them when I first moved to LA and they’re part of the Black Queer underground scene of LA that’s really important. This is their first New York show, and they do a lot for creating space for people that are considered being “othered”, and alternative spaces. So that felt really good, and that was a big highlight of my life. To be asked to walk down a runway is like “oh that’s really exciting” but to be able to walk down a runway with somebody that I actually truly believe in, and who are here representing things that matter, that was a pretty good highlight in my life. And that just happened yesterday, so that’s what’s presently happening. And there’s been so many things that have happened.

You have a range of beautiful clothing and costumes in your music videos – you have spoken before about your restrictive upbringing – is this a ritual of breaking out of that rigidly and exercising a freedom to express yourself?

I think that style was something that way always around in my life. I mean, my Dad was such a stylish guy, even with the restrictions; it was more about about restrictions of modesty than restrictions of expression. So within the restrictions of modesty were also restrictions of money, of what we could afford. And when you’re growing up and everyone has the trend of what everyone is wearing at that time, and my parents were like “we’re not going to buy you flip-flops that cost fifty dollars” that everyone has, everyone has these flip-flops. So it’s a lot … style is something that was passed along, and my mode of expression of self and the costumes and everything is really just a dream come true, because I’ve always loved playing around and having fun. Seeing the vision that was connected with, and inspired by aesthetically pleasing the senses, all about style… fashion and style are two different things, I think. Obviously they play a part within each other, but style over fashion - you can’t have fashion without style. I think that’s something I was always attracted to.

You must really be enjoying Fashion Week there.

You know, I did the show yesterday, and everyone was like “how many other shows are you walking in?” and I’m like, “I’m not walking in any other shows” - I’m not even really going to many other shows. When I’m in New York I rarely have a lot of time here - I used to live here - and I don’t have a whole lot of time when I’m here, I’m usually in for a couple of days and then out. But this time, I actually have a week, which is so exciting to me. I’m staying in the city which - when I lived here I lived in Brooklyn - and I really love being in the city, walking outside and immediately feeling that electric energy. Being in LA - I moved to LA a couple of years ago and I went there to finish my record and work on my album, and I needed that feeling of isolation that I couldn’t get here in New York. It served me so well, that I was able to do that, but being in New York is such an electric bolt of energy that I just missed. I feel like I’m in a tornado of it and I can’t be like “okay, now I’m going to go to this show” I’m just trying walk down the street and it will take me an hour to walk one block, to see everything.

Your music videos have a running theme of escape and isolation. How does this connect to your life and your artistic expression?

I think a lot of what of what I was exploring in that point in time in my life, part of what went into the making of the record and these songs, was an extreme feeling of isolation, away from everything that I was centred around, or that was a central thing to my life and veering away from that into a whole new way of existence. Even within these different worlds that I was living in, I always felt a sense of isolation, of being different, and wanting to connect. And always having a real openness of life and of understanding and of people, that was shut off to me because of the religion that I was in. So within that isolation that may have at one point been pressed onto me as an integral part of life, of survival and then moving away from that, and wanting to isolate myself intentionally, and explore the realms of isolation - how it was pressed on me before, and then later in life when I wanted to do it for myself. To explore the reason why I was isolated and be able to move past that, in a way that isn’t the pain of that isolation, but being able to choose it, to make that decision for myself. The exploration of isolation, is just reflection on my life, the decisions I’ve made for myself, the decisions that used to be made for me and of where I fit within all of that.

Can we expect more visuals like ‘I’m not in love’  to accompany your music in future? Do you have particular visuals in mind when writing songs?

I feel like a lot of the time when I’m writing, I’m seeing visuals - a lot of my music I feel is cinematic .I love movies, I love film and things visual -  I’m a visual learner and I’ve learned so much and love to find the beauty in all sorts of things, in the abstract and the things that I’ve gazed over. So that will always be a line of continuous thought, this cinematic feel of a film or a short story of some kind, that will definitely continue to be a part of my visuals. I’m really excited about the next thing that’s coming up actually - I really like Anime and I’ve been really excited about implementing that into visuals and I asked my friend Doshi - we’re in an art collective together - and she’s one of my favourite illustrators, so I asked her if she could illustrate the next video. So the next video is going to be this animated, illustrated film. And I like to call them films, I think “musics video” that’s like putting something into a box I feel, I think calling something a “music video” is just you know, categorizing you into this thing. But films have music in them but I think it’s a visual story, you’re telling a story.

Your music has a beautiful poetic lyricism to it. In your single ‘Shade of Blue’ particularly, the opening lyrics are beautifully haunting spoken word. Where do you derive inspiration for your lyrics?

I think it’s just something that comes from within, I don’t know if it’s something that can really be defined. It comes in waves, it comes through the everyday, and through the experience of feeling and the purity of thought. I think tapping into that and listening to it, and just writing freely. It’s poetry and not getting too caught up in editing it out, because sometimes you can be finding out the vulnerability of thought, and I think people connect to that even greater. That’s what I’m interested in - a real feeling. That’s what I try to connect with and what I try to push other people to connect with as well.

You are a classically trained cellist. The cello has a deep and haunting musical quality that certainly seemed to be echoed through your music - that beauty. Do you think the cello shaped the way that you create your sound?

Yeah, definitely. Somebody told me that the cello and the french horn are the instruments that are closest to the human voice, tonally. I think something in me fed on that, and even the shape of it, how it’s like a body and you sort of envelop yourself around it, it’s this piece of wood, of earth, and connecting to that feeling, and actually physically feeling the vibration of it, has definitely shaped my singing part of my musical life. The way that I hear notes, the way that I hear melody, the notes when I’m singing, those things are definitely connected to one another, for sure. Growing up in the classical music world and studying it - I started playing violin when I was five, around then - there was always a piano in the house, my Mom played piano, my Dad played percussion, the music was always around. But even within my study, it was always a joy and a love for me - it wasn’t a chore. Sometimes other kids would be in orchestra and they would be dreading it, and like “oh I’m just doing this for my college credits” or my parents are saying “you need to do this”. And they would be so gung-ho about perfecting the technique of everything and that’s just never where my heart really lay, it was always in the feeling. And Music Theory - I failed Music Theory, it’s just not my fucking forte, but I still sat First Chair because I had the feeling and I had the soul for it. And that’s what’s most important for me, when playing cello - the notes that lie between the notes are the ones are that were always really fascinating for me. I think singing and sliding in two notes together in that same way, of finding the soul within the note is what I’ve tried to do and to find, and to have fun with the different shapes you can create. So for sure, I think they definitely tied into one another.

What is your songwriting and recording process like, and can we expect to hear more new music from you in 2019?

Yeah, definitely! I’m releasing my album -

Yay!

Yay! So that’s exciting, that’s coming out in Spring - it’s called ‘Blood’, so I’m going to be releasing songs from that, and some other things. I’ve being doing some collaborations with other artists who I really love and yeah I just want to keep making music, keep putting stuff out. I’m really excited about the different things that are coming up because they’re all kind of on different spectrums. That’s the kind of music that I make; I don’t like being genre defined because that’s just not the world that we live in now, I don’t think we should try to stay in that world. Exploration is fun, we should continue to do that.

You have spoken before about difficulties for women in creative industries, particularly in regard to male egos, and the risks of being scammed or taken advantage of. Would you have any advice you would give to young creative women struggling with similar issues?

You know, I was talking to a friend today who is someone that I met - and she’s one of my favourite singers- she has… her tone, her quality is just this velvet, butter sound, and she’s just so smart. I met her through someone who is a man and who has an unearthly large male ego that really got in the way of us creating something together. And he tried to take advantage of me in that way, of my kindness, and I’m grateful for him coming into my life for me to see that and experience that, but mostly that he introduced me to her, and she came into my life because of him. Since we’ve parted ways I haven’t spoken to her in a long time and I spoke to her today and I was like, you know, do you still have your relationship with this person? And she was like “I had to cut him out of my life”, and he was such an integral part of her life musically, but was one of those types of men who, the people that he holds around him just continue to build up his ego. He does things like “oh I’m going to do her this favour”, but it’s not a favour, it’s just holding on to this power and manipulation. Something she said to me, she was like “you know, I realise that being in spaces and it’s mostly men, all these males that have this misogynistic attitude towards women, but I’m here, and they fuck with me? Why do they? And they talk to me like I’m just another one of them, and I’m here in this room - what does that mean for me? It’s like I’m not loving myself”. I’ve been in those positions as well, being on tour with a group that was all men, and I love them, they’re like my brothers, but they have a misogynistic mentality and way about them, and their egos can be very large. But still I was able to be in that space and later on I’m think like “wow, how could I be in that space?”. I hadn’t learned to love myself enough to communicate how not to be there. I think when we find ourselves in these spaces, really just love yourself enough to be able to walk away. When we are and they’re inescapable - and I think it is hard to escape, they’re all over the place - I think it’s really about self-care and love, and if you feel like you want to speak up about something, listening to your guttural instincts. I think we as women are so easily muted, naturally that feeling of wanting to speak up is muted, and for obvious reasons there’s so much fear within speaking up. But the more that we do it the stronger that energy and that voice becomes in order to create a change and a shift. Even if it is isolating, know that there are so many other women out there that are going through the same thing and you aren’t alone.

You can find more about Kelsey lu here, here and here. Words by Elizabeth Milstead