CHOSEN FAMILY

ART

Apr 22

Absolut, Heaps Gay and Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras teamed up to present “The Roast”, an afternoon celebration of queer food, drink, comedy and theatre, where attendees were encouraged to bring their “Chosen Family”. Following on from the fabulously fun and wonderfully intimate family lunch, we spoke with contributing artist Kim Leutwyler about the importance of chosen family, and how their chosen family support them in living a creative and fulfilling life.

What are your favourite things about the people in your chosen family?

While we do share very similar values, we are each so different. I am surrounded by beautiful artists who are enormously ambitious. Each gives so much to the wider queer community and we help one another to constantly grow and dream bigger.

Where does your chosen family pull its strength and generosity from?

We give one another strength and love every single day in a variety of ways. Late night phone calls and messages to lend an ear and offer words of encouragement, dropping everything to go on a walk when someone is feeling low, popping in to see one another at work, finding meaningful gifts for special occasions, giving massages, impromptu dance parties, volunteering together, weekend family trips, the list goes on and on. By filling one another’s cups through our various love languages we are empowered to give back in big ways to the greater Queer community.

Families involve a lot of work at the best of times. At any given time you’re juggling supporting each other’s emotional and spiritual needs, nurturing and encouraging talents and differences, managing financial support, negotiating disagreements and more. Why is it important to your chosen family that you continue to extend that work outside of yourselves and into the community?

My chosen family is comprised of dreamers and doers. We support one another through exchanging ideas, honest critique, grant writing and physically showing up to be involved in various projects. Each of us has an innate sense of duty to make the world a better place for the Queer community through our creativity, while also nurturing one another and ourselves.

Your family tends to know you better than anyone, and so usually no one knows how to push your buttons and frustrate you better than them. Do you have a particular way of peacekeeping or helping confrontation in your chosen family?

Transparency is the key to any good relationship. If we are upset by something we talk it out openly and honestly. Disagreements are exceptionally rare among my chosen family, but when they do occur we lead with listening, acknowledging one another’s feelings and forgiveness.

With a chosen family do you think it’s easier to communicate and decide and set what your core values, rules of communication, and general behavioural ethics are?

Chosen family breaks down your walls. They see you for who you really are, even when you cannot see yourself clearly. Upon reflection my chosen family have never had an intentional conversation about core values, rules of communication or behavioural ethics. We have learned these things through our actions, words and lived experiences. We are all free to relax, play, dance, explore and speak openly about the topics we are most passionate about. We grow and learn together.

When are your favourite times with your chosen family?

Family meals have to be my all-time favourite. One of us spends 2-8 hours cooking (we take turns) while the rest gather in the kitchen to chat and enjoy an adult beverage. Then we set the table, enjoy a home cooked meal and inevitably end up having a dance party sing-a-long in the living room. It brings me so much joy.

Pictured above: She’s a handful (2021) oil on canvas / More from Kim Leutwyler here / Words by Alex Officer.