SOKO
French artist, music nerd, Queer Mom & cat lady Soko releases her debut album ‘Feel Feelings’ exploring emotional depth laced with soft drums, dreamy vocals & gentle guitar. We sit down (virtually) with Soko to talk about vulnerability, body image, being a new mother & fear of dying. Dive in below:
Art is inherently born out of a desire to acknowledge and evolve, how would you describe the journey to your current identity? From your youth to where you are now, what significant experiences have you transformed into something so powerful, and something you're proud of?
I've always felt the need to have a creative outlet because my memory is very poor. So making something concrete that can live on forever with whatever is going on in my mind has always been very vital to me. I started with acting and starving to be taken out of my reality, later on I started writing songs that were super personal and really comforting in my reality, acknowledging it as you said. The more you know, the more you know.. It's exponential. There's always more to write about.
When I was younger, I dreamt of being able to live off of my passion, acting and making music. But it felt like a pipe dream. Now, when i look back and i have made 3 albums, even though some songs make me cringe, i'm still super proud of my journey and all the hard work i put into it. The film is what I'm most proud of might be The Dancer. That felt like a huge accomplishment, I worked so hard on this film. I always do, but this one was particularly intense with a lot of training and no stunt.
How has your music and style operated as a vehicle for claiming such power within yourself?
I've always made music from such a vulnerable and honest place. I think vulnerability is one's greatest strength, it takes courage to be vulnerable and raw, especially if it might be heard by others. I also got sober at 19, I was drinking daily and partying a lot, when i stopped, I gained a lot of clarity into what I was capable of accomplishing when my head was sober and focused on the greater good.
What we believe is the most intriguing question to ask an artist is what was the defining initial moment, and the emotion at the time, that made you realise that you’re going to do this, you’re seriously pursuing your music. Did that moment come to you out of experimentation, fortune, misfortune, or has it been a long-standing practice?
I had been playing piano when i was a kid for 7 years and hated every bit of my relationship with my teacher so that didn't make me love learning.
Then I was going to theatre school, we had to sing in front of people and I hated that. I hated my voice. Then I had to take dance classes and I hated my body, and I felt super body ashamed for not looking like a stick figure.. But, I always loved music so much. I've always been a music nerd and I was going to a lot of shows. I was always front row wishing I could feel what they're feeling on stage, trying to catch glimpses of it.
I think that's when I thought, I should do it too. I started writing songs in a little notebook, I had always been writing, but never songs.. then i picked up instruments again, and that coincided with when i got sober and i put all my focus on this and there was no turning back !
Did you have any hesitations? If you could dissect what was going through your head at the time, what were the push and pull thoughts? How did you overcome that?
No hesitations no, it felt like a very easy transition from just acting and waiting for the telephone to ring and other people to notice me, just reclaiming my powers and doing something for myself, coming from myself and in which I didn't need any external validation to be enjoying my creative process.
And in retrospect now, what would you tell your former self to quell that hesitation? Could you envision how to get from a to b, did you have a plan, or did you just wing it? No judgement at all, everyone falls along uniquely on that spectrum.
I wish i could tell my younger self that i should have taken ALL the opportunities instead of being so picky. When i started , the music industry was already declining but now it is impossible to make a living out of being an indie artist. So, I wish I had cashed out a few more opportunities before it became so competitive for everyone.
Art and music serves as both a catharsis and a call-to-action, it’s a profound concept that something so deeply personal translated into a public experience can resonate very intimately and emotionally with others. What have you found most frightening, yet gratifying, in this process? Can you describe your most memorable moment that has reflected such?
I’ve always had a weird relationship to death. My dad died when I was 5, so I was made aware of it way too early, which made me write a lot of very intensely personal songs about my fear of death, of dying alone. More recently, on my album Feel Feelings I wrote a song called ‘A quiet Storm’ that touches on domestic violence and abuse. That was a very difficult song for me to write. All the songs I wrote to overcome my fear of a situation are always very challenging to put out, because they are the most personal and important for me, but also, I always wonder if they should just be kept secret... Then I remember that the art that touches me is always the most sincere and vulnerable and not necessarily easy for others to put out either.
Can you tell us about how your new album
My new album is called Feel Feelings, it's an expression of all that constitutes my entire panel of emotions, the full rainbow, bringing on both the sun and the rain to create that magical place. It is intoxicatingly warm and slow, soft and happy but deep and sad. Soft spoken and melodic. Very french!
Resilience is a word strongly concurrent with feminism. What does resilience mean to you in your personal life, mental health, artistic practice and role in society? In your opinion, how does one practice resilience and what are the most vital pressures to stand up to?
Resilience is not giving up even though life throws you through loops that make you feel like you're drowning, but knowing that you're in it to win it and come out of it stronger. Resilience is surviving the washing machine cycle and coming out with clear intentions and integrity. Resilience is being unapologetically yourself even when you're beaten down, and finding that little flame of strength to put you back up after the storm. I find it important to stand up to twisted body image in having to accept my own body for the greatness it's brought me. I gave birth to a baby! That was the most empowering moment of my life.
In terms of role in society, I think in this day an age, social media is very important and it's vital for me to use my platform for the greater good, to talk openly about gender, mental health, visibility, BLM, the advantages of having a plant based diet for your own health and for the planet. I didn't grow up with any models of queer families with kids, so I try to show visibility with my own little story that it is possible to live your life authentically and find happiness in something that wasn't necessarily presented to you as an option when you were younger!
How has your mental health and boundaries imposed on you as a woman affected your self-concept and pursuit as an artist? What do you believe is important to communicate to aspiring artists?
I've always had hard battles with my mental health. I've been on and off antidepressants for years. It is something that is promenous in all my music and performances. Sometimes my anxiety gets super triggered and it was even hard for me to play shows. But with getting older and now, being a mum and having to be responsible for someone else's life, I feel like it's becoming a lot more manageable.
However, now my problem is that I'm almost scared of what I’ll be able to write about if all is going well in my life.. And I don't want to doom myself!
Lastly, is there anything else we can expect from you this year?
More cute baby pictures! Hopefully some of the movies I shot will come out and I'll be able to make more music videos, I’m about to start shooting more!
AND, I'm crossing all of my fingers, i really want to be able to tour Feel Feelings.. i hope this can happen!
You can listen to Feel Feelings here & more Soko here. Words by Jay Rickards, images by Miriam Marlene, Jasper Rischen, Cameron McCool & Evan Tan
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